In the hustle of life, especially for those of us balancing demanding careers, personal responsibilities, and caregiving, the idea of self-care can be appealing. We’re often told to “take time for ourselves” and indulge in activities that help us relax. However, there's a dangerous myth: that anything that feels good in the moment counts as self-care. The truth is, there’s a significant difference between indulging in habits that offer temporary comfort and practicing genuine self-care that nourishes both your body and mind.
It’s essential to distinguish between self-care and self-sabotage disguised as self-soothing.
Self-Care vs. Self-Soothing: Understanding the Difference
Self-care is not merely about finding comfort when you're stressed or overworked. Activities like binge-watching your favorite Netflix show, indulging in comfort food, or pouring an extra glass of wine may provide a quick escape, but they can lead to overindulgence and potentially cause more harm than good (for me that's revenge entertainment, yes it's a thing). True self-care isn’t just about instant gratification; it’s about nurturing your long-term health, happiness, and well-being.
What Self-Soothing Looks Like:
- Binge-watching TV for hours to escape
- Emotional eating when stressed or upset
- Pouring an extra glass of wine at the end of a long day
- Mindlessly scrolling through social media to unwind
While these activities may temporarily ease discomfort, they often fail to address the root causes of your stress or emotional fatigue. Instead, they can leave you feeling even more drained and disconnected. Overindulgence in these behaviors can lead to burnout, anxiety, or weight gain.
The Problem with “Feel-Good” Habits That Aren’t Really Self-Care
Habits like overeating, binge-watching TV, or excessive alcohol consumption may seem like easy ways to relax, but they can become harmful crutches if they turn into regular coping mechanisms. Here’s why:
- Overeating or consuming unhealthy foods can lead to weight gain, digestive issues, and feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, or other long term health issue.
- Binge-watching TV may provide a mental escape, but it often results in poor sleep habits and social isolation, ultimately making you feel more disconnected.
- Drinking alcohol to unwind may feel comforting, but it can disrupt your sleep, harm your liver, and increase feelings of anxiety or depression over time.
The bottom line? These habits may feel good in the moment, but they don’t promote true well-being. In fact, they often work against your body’s natural rhythms, causing more stress in the long run.
What True Self-Care Looks Like
True self-care isn’t about indulging in habits that offer temporary relief; it’s about creating routines that sustain and enhance your health, energy, and peace of mind. It should leave you feeling empowered, refreshed, and more connected to yourself—not drained, guilty, or numb.
Here are some examples of genuine self-care practices that promote long-term wellness:
- Nourishing Your Body: Focus on balanced meals rich in whole foods that energize you and support hormonal health. For women over 35, paying attention to nutrition, especially concerning peri-menopause and hormonal changes, is essential.
- Physical Movement: Regular exercise, whether it’s walking, yoga, or strength training, boosts endorphins, relieves stress, and strengthens your body. Exercise is a form of self-care that replenishes rather than drains.
- Mindfulness Practices: Engaging in meditation, deep breathing, or gratitude journaling helps you reconnect with your inner self, grounding you in the present moment rather than numbing your feelings.
- Restorative Sleep: Quality sleep is a cornerstone of self-care. Establish a bedtime routine that includes reducing screen time, perhaps enjoying a calming book, and creating a restful sleep environment.
- Creative Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and stimulate your creativity, such as painting, writing, or gardening. These outlets allow you to express yourself and recharge healthily.
Why Enjoyment Is Still Important
True self-care should promote your health but doesn’t have to be boring, feel like a chore, or forgoe enjoyment! It’s important to find the right balance between enjoyment and health-promoting activities. The goal is to create a sustainable routine that you look forward to, rather than relying on quick fixes that leave you feeling worse off.
Self-care should be about replenishing your energy rather than draining it. Ask yourself: “Will this habit help me feel healthier, more grounded, and more peaceful in the long run?” If the answer is no, it’s likely a self-soothing behavior masquerading as self-care.
Redefining Self-Care
By redefining what self-care means, we can foster a more profound sense of health and well-being. Focusing on practices that genuinely nurture our bodies and minds can lead to long-term benefits, helping us thrive rather than merely survive.
Xoxo, Crystal
